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Aug 7

Update

Haven’t been posting for quite sometime already in here.

Last time my curiosity hit, I found out I have not missed a thing. She still the same if not already gotten more bigger since that last weight gain she had.

And for me, I’ve been doing good and still on track. Now I swim at a local public pool. The place is nice, clean and organized. I swim Monday thru Friday unless I have appointments, dinner plans, pms or the pool closure. August is my 2nd month into swimming. I’m very committed to swimming. I’ve even met a few nice ppl at the pool when we had to share lanes. Its really a fantastic feeling meeting new and nice ppl out there.

Well, my journey to consistency and persistency continue til my Tibet trip in beginning of October. After my trip, I’ll be also meeting with a girl that I have been talking to via phone and txt for the a lil over a month already. It’ll be a great date to go out and have fun with.

Silly KG

It’s ridiculous (to me) that I still have this much feelings for you (L.L) after all these years have passed. Killing me. Ok, Continue to suppress.

Jogging at Lake Merced

I wanna run 4.5 miles Lake Merced again to mend/soothe out the heartache. Ran on friday and yesterday. Felt really good but just have knee sore (not pain yet) afterwards tho. Currently at 52 mins, going to aim at 4X mins.

Sunday 6/22

Had a baby shower BBQ at coyote point. Met/saw my high school sweetheart ex (my very 1st love). She lost some weight since the last I was with her back in freshman college. Since we share common middle and high school friends, I occasionally hear news here and there about her. Like, she had skin allergic reactions consume beef or meat (which it was never the case when I was with her). But during this shot bbq, I saw her took a bbq ribs so my guess is her allergic reactions are over. That’s a good thing to see. Well, we didn’t talk at all nor even say hi. I just tilted my head and smiled at her while with all the commotions of people running around and talking. Since it was noisy there, I don’t know if she said hi softly to me or not but she didn’t nod her head and kind of smiled back too.

I also heard she have a bf now and have been going out for a little over a year by now which she didn’t bring along with her. She bought her older sister only. I was actually hoping she’d bring her bf so that I can see how he looks like in person.

Before finally sitting in front of a computer, so many thoughts and flash backs flock by quickly. Lost and mixed feelings and thoughts gone by. Thoughts like whether if I should approach her again and be back friends or to the least aquintance that would actually say hi and hang out for a little without awkwardness. As usual, my other angel side would tell me, “nah, get over it, pal. No need to have such a gesture. Rejection or weird eye stare isn’t the most pleasant thing in the world especially when the feelings are only one sided.”

So, for now, as long as I see that she seems happy with life then I will keep quiet and hope for the best in her from far away.

2014

While watched “Bloomington” for the 10th time

I don’t get how the female professor just saw the freshman female student and knew she’s the one of her love in the 1st place. Like how would you know she’s even into females…. I wish i have that guts or if even better that someone would have that courage to approach me like that.

Both are hot chicks. I love that movie even if the beginning went a bit rushing to develop the context.

Jun 1

on a Sunday

Exercised, then took the puppy out for her exercise. Now, im bored. I have chores and laundry to do, but Im even more bored thinking about that. ughhhh…..

Things I would never Say on FB

I feel very happy and blessed for having friends and coworkers treating me to lunch and dinner (different groups) throughout the whole week on celebrating my birthday. Im a proud Gemini.

I would never say this on FB cuz they will sayvI am cheezy with my emotions. lol. I love them to bits.

Today May 27th

Is a special day. Today of many years ago is where I was born to this world.

Happy Birthday to me.

Interviewing

Nerve racking!! In line waiting with the rest of the interviewees in the hallways. i really hope i get the job. Damn!! Good luck to self.

I found out

what I have been missing. I missed Kim’s Pie like figure. If only that can happen in my real life again. Ill long and wait and wait til she comes. Where friendship develops to love subconsciously.

Interview on Thursday

Excited, scared and nervous! Hope I get the job eventho the hours aren’t that pretty - 3:30pm to 12am.   x-ing my fingas.

May 1

Eye candy M

Well, just found out the reality of my eye candy is dating with another guy in the office (who’s in my team too). No more eye candying for me. It’s good to have reality hit sooner than later. Sometimes too much candy is bad for you . haa haa….I’m glad I found out tho. Saves me MUCH less misery to spend. Thank you, Godly being.

in the working world

People are just soooo uptight. Got my annual review today and my direct supervisor told me a few people (internal peers and externals) told her manager that I should watch out my sense of humor. Seriously? I hardly talk to ppl in the office already. And i only open up if I see you’re an approachable person. I probably say “handsome, can I have you sign these paperwork”. Things like that would offend ppl and make them complaint about me BEHIND my back? Gosh… have the guts and just tell me in front of my face. Cuz if you come back months later, i’m not gonna remember what it was and might even do it again accidentally. You adults should be more professional on confronting me so that I can learn at the time of the occurrence and not AFTER the fact, please..  Been scratching my head all day trying to figure out who the heck is that sensitive. My humor doesn’t attack ppl at work, so i really don’t know understand what is it that i said. My supervisor won’t budge to tell me who either or what is it that i’ve said.

Mar 9

Another wishful dream

Laat nite I had a very vivid dream about my 1st ex back from high school. This dream is much more recent times than others that I had about her. There was someone in the dream said she still loves me but i didnt believe it. I had to go to the restroom amd somehow lisha was the last one using that restroom amd she left something in there like a media player of some sort and it says songs from kathy. I gave her love songs back then and some recordings of my voice.

When I went back outside to the friend reunion or some group friend get together, i walked straight to her. She looked at me like so shocked amd frightened to why am i walking so close to her. I broke a big close tight hug. She then hugs back tightly and cried heavily with joyfulness. She trembles as she speak to my ears, “Ive missed u so much all these yrs amd u finally come back to me. I still love u so much.” I burst in tears (in my dreams) then woke……

Im all sad now. My mind and heart still dwells in the past with Lisha.

Deja Vu

Just had some really good flash back when I have driving back to work during lunch.

Flash back about my 1st ex - 1st love - 1st girl relationship. It felt so real, i mean the feeling of happiness, the jiggly feeling when I had being with her back in high school. Awww….good times… good times.