Tom-mania

The loved ones….

I will make them leave me one by one.

Sigh…..

I wanna close this.

Doing this alone

It’s time for my alone time. I need it. I’ve been waiting to watch The Host with someone. But I found out, sometimes it’s just soooo much easier to do it myself. Today is friday, I’m going to treat myself to a movie before The Host gets removed from the theaters.  See, there I go. Quick and easy, go whenever I wanted to without having to wait and wait. Tired of asking and waiting at the same time.

Owning a cat

I have this huge urge to get a pet kitten. Not just any breeds. I’ve done some research and I really want a Singapura.

Today…

Eventho it’s friday… it’s definitely not a good friday to me today.  Ugghh….. I hate the feeling of betraying when you least expected from some people. Lesson learned… NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE, can be trusted except your own self.

I know this long time ago but didn’t expect that ppl who seem nice and quiet would attack you behind your back. At least confront me 1st!! If i still persistently do it and get caught by you again then I would feel it’s my fault to the least and not you being a gold finger to me. !!!

When even love is not enough …

Not enough to have her stay…. One gentle sweet “Bye, my love.”

Day 1

It sucks. It’s the “having to hold back” or “refrain myself” that sucks.

Self Destruct

YAY, then I will be freeeee. it’s been a while since I feel this good and burden-less. It’s time for the relieved ending. Whoppeeeeee!

Getting scared more and more…

Of her txts and her updates. I’m horrified what she will do or whatever will happen to her background, her interactions with her friend or friends. The decisions she makes, her comments of some girl or some guy. I felt like I rather not know anything then to know. Not knowing will spare the negative feeling i have burdened for so long ever since being with her. Im exhausted too.

Towards the end

im getting tired… nothing I do, none of my efforts are being recognized. I don’t feel as appreciated like I used to in the beggining. Now its more nagging about how come this and how come that. its time to end if this vibe keeps staying like this so the pain can be putted to an end right here and right now.

I noticed the more I do, the less my efforts mean anymore to her. The recognition of being appreciated last much shorter now. Yeah, her neediness is getting overwhelming as each day progresses. I don’t know what else I can do anymore.

The down turn

I just dont feel appreciated anymore from her. All efforts i put in is a bunch of waste. Cuz she doesnt see it as im putting effort… i do, too, give not just you. If there’s so much complaints then why still choosing to settle with me?

My Dream from Last Nite

I felt so guilty yet so comfortable.

I dreamt of holding one of my tumblr followers’ hand walking out of a building. Her hand was petite and soft but cold too. We walked to the bus station in front of the building along with other campus students. It was late at nite. I offered to drive her home but she said no. I cuddled with her until her bus came. Our lips accidentally touched while engaging in cuddling position. At the moment, it felt like the world stopped and I was enjoying the moment.  I’ve never meet this person in real life but only saw her random pictures she posted on tumblr. In the dream, we were simliar height but i have a hunch she’s probably 4-5 inches taller than me.  I probably had this dream cuz she was the last person I saw a post on my dashboard and knowing the fact that she lives close to me before I fell asleep.

I’m sorry, I dragged your presence into my dream.

Whatever the outcome…

I never regret being with you. You are the one best thing to my life. You openned up my world.

Time to sleep

Good nite, world. Thanks, followers, for letting me show my moments on your dashboard. 1:45 am at my time.

Something wasn’t right…

It’s a feeling. She has been different lately. I can feel that she didn’t tell me much lately. She didn’t share her thoughts as deep. And that’s it.

We broke up.

It’s probably gonna hurt less…cuz I’m sure we both anticipated this already.

I loved her with all my heart. I still care for her. I still worry about her and her well being. I missed her txt and voice already. Sigh…..